White Elephant Rules: How the Gift Exchange Works

In a white elephant gift exchange, each guest brings one wrapped gift within an agreed price limit. Players draw numbers to set the order. On their turn, a player either unwraps a gift from the pile or steals one that someone else has already opened. Anyone whose gift is stolen picks again, and the game ends when every present has been opened. The fun lies in the stealing, the bargaining and the occasional fight over a surprisingly popular jar of chutney.

What you need

• At least six players; the game gets livelier with more.
• One wrapped gift per player, with no name tags.
• A price limit everyone agrees to in advance.
• Numbered slips of paper in a bowl or hat.
• Somewhere to pile the gifts where everyone can see them.

The basic white elephant rules, step by step

1. Set the price limit and theme. Agree on a spending cap so nobody feels awkward, and decide whether gifts should be funny, useful, homemade or anything goes.
2. Collect the gifts. As guests arrive, gifts go onto one central pile, anonymous and wrapped.
3. Draw numbers. Each player takes a slip. Number one goes first.
4. Player one opens a gift. They choose any present from the pile, unwrap it and show it to the room.
5. Player two decides. They can open a new gift from the pile, or steal player one's opened gift. If they steal, player one picks a new wrapped gift and opens it.
6. Play continues in order. Each new player may open a new gift or steal any opened gift. Every time someone loses a gift, they choose again: open a new one or steal from someone else, subject to the limits below.
7. The game ends once the last wrapped gift has been opened.

Steal limits that keep it moving

Without limits, a single popular gift can bounce around the room for ages. Most groups use some combination of these house rules:

• No immediate steal-back. If your gift is stolen, you cannot take it straight back on the same turn.
• Three steals and it is frozen. After a gift has been stolen three times, it stays with its third owner for the rest of the game.
• One steal per turn. Some groups end the turn after a single steal, so the victim must open a new gift rather than steal again.
• The final swap. Because player one never had the chance to steal, they get one last turn at the very end to swap their gift with any unfrozen gift in the room.

Announce the house rules before the first number is drawn. It saves a lot of debate later.

Popular variations

White elephant vs Secret Santa

The two are often confused, but they work very differently. In Secret Santa, each person is assigned one recipient in advance, usually by drawing names, and buys a gift for that person. The giver stays anonymous until the reveal, if there is one. There is no stealing, and the gift is chosen with one particular person in mind.

White elephant is a party game. Nobody knows who will end up with their gift, so presents are chosen to appeal to the room, or to make the room laugh. Secret Santa suits groups that know each other well; white elephant works with mixed crowds such as offices, clubs and large family gatherings.

Good white elephant gifts

The gifts that cause the most stealing tend to be useful, a bit unexpected, or both. Ideas that fit most price limits:

• A good-quality mug with a bag of coffee beans or loose tea.
• A board game or a deck of cards with a new game's rules printed out.
• A cosy blanket or a pair of thick socks.
• A small house plant in a nice pot.
• Something homemade, such as a jar of biscuit mix or a set of salt dough ornaments.
• A small themed bundle; the tips in how to make a gift basket scale down nicely.

Wrapping counts for a lot in this game, because players choose by the parcel alone. An oddly shaped or beautifully wrapped gift draws attention. Our guide on how to wrap a gift neatly helps with the second kind.

Hosting tips

How long does it take?

It depends on the group size and the steal rules. Freezing gifts after a set number of steals keeps a large group from running too long.

What if someone forgets a gift?

Keep one or two spare wrapped gifts on hand, or let the person join as a spectator who can help the host.

How do you stop feelings getting hurt?

Set the tone early: the game is about the fun of stealing, not about the value of the gifts. A clear price limit and a light-hearted host do most of the work. If someone ends up with something they really cannot use, a quiet swap after the game is fair.